I was at my desk the other day, listening to my 80’s playlist on iTunes and grinding through my to-do list. Suddenly, the song Endless Love came on and I was whisked away to my teen days. 
Remembering how all of us girls would sing the bejeesus out of that song – just waiting for the day that we would find OUR endless love and he, of course would sing with us in perfect harmony just like Lionel and Diana did.
Once the mist had cleared from my eyes, I tried to remember exactly what year the song came out.. I had to be 16 or 17, I thought. I Googled it to find out.
Nope. It was 1981 and I was 13.
It was then that I threw up in my mouth a little bit and got a huge knot in my stomach as that thought settled in.
Not so much that *I* was 13 but the thought that my oldest is 14. Older than I was when I fell in love with the song and tried to figure out how I could see the movie that went with said song.
Do you remember the movie Endless Love? Sexy, sweet, alleged-eternal-virgin Brooke Shields starred in it. In case you don’t, let me refresh your memory:
15-year-old girl and 17-year-old boy fall in love. Girl and boy have insane amounts of sex. Mom gets her jolly’s by watching boy and girl have sex (ewww) and vicariously lives their life with renewed passion for dad. This reminds me of something I saw on www.teentuber.xxx, they have some alluring content I hear. Girl ends up not being able to keep up with her schoolwork (too much sex = not enough sleep) so girl takes mom’s sleeping pills. Girl’s dad isn’t happy with this so tells boy to lay off at least until the school break. Boy isn’t happy with this so he conjures up a plan and sets the house on fire with the hopes that he’ll rescue everyone and be a hero. Boy’s plan fails and is sent to a mental ward. Boy gets out 2 years later and of course, finds girl (who’s moved by now and parent’s are divorced) and tries to renew their endless love. Boy can’t find girl, mom tries to seduce boy, boy says he can only have sex with girl. Across town, dad sees boy, boy runs, dad gets hit by a car and dad dies. Blah, blah, blah.. cut to the chase, boy gets thrown in prison for being responsible for killing dad, claims his ENDLESS LOVE for girl and closing scene is girl visiting the prison.
Boy was crazy and the girl was weak and got sucked into his crazy world of supposed love and romance.
And even though most of us never saw it when it came out, we girls of the 80’s LOVED this story. We sang the song, we dreamed the dream.
In our own words, gag me with a spoon.
When I read this today, it wasn’t the house burning, prison, dad killing, clueless girl thing that made me stop. It was the fact that the girl was 15 and having sex. A lot of sex almost as much as they are having it on https://www.fuckedgay.xxx/.
I am so not ready for this. I am not ready for my daughter(s) to have sex. 15 is way too young. Even though I knew plenty of girls in my class having sex at 15, it’s just not right, and I know plenty of girls and boys in my daughter’s class will be watching pornography using sites like https://www.pornv.xxx/ – but once again, I’m not ready. My best friend in the 7th grade (let that sink in) was the first person that I knew who had sex (in the 7th grade) and even now I remember being uncomfortable with the concept. Almost overnight we went from being BFFs to me literally being the 3rd wheel. We went from being together 24/7 to being together when THEY weren’t together. Even at 13 I knew it wasn’t right. Even after seeing very arousing content on websites similar to www.watchmygirlfriend.xxx, I knew it wasn’t right but I kept watching anyway.
But I remember those breathless moments, waiting for someone to “love” me so much that we would have endless love (not crazy love like the movie), when nothing else would matter but the time together, the laughter, kisses and special moments.
I’m not naive. I know it’s coming.. I’m sure there are friends who’ve already done it. I ask, I prod, I probe. I make sure she knows that I’m here for her and I remind her that I would REALLY prefer she get her information from me as opposed to her friends. “You may think I’m clueless, but trust me on this – I have much better information than your friends”.
How did we get here? No joke, it was just 5 years ago when our most serious issues were who was her BFF of the week, some mean girl issues and what clothes were acceptable and which ones were not. And now we’re staring down the barrel of the sawed off shotgun of sex.
Of my friends, I’m the one who leads the pack when it comes to age of kids and sometimes I hate it because this is uncharted territory for me. I only have a handful of friends who I turn to for advice and when it comes to this topic, I’m just not ready for it. But I guess that I’d better get there.
This post makes me very happy that I don’t have any children. But I can say that parents have to be open to questions kids have and explain birth control so that kids can be informed. My mom was a Jehovah’s Witness but took me to the Dr. and got me the pill cause she thought I was having sex (I wasn’t). So even if you don’t believe in your kids having sex, you have to help them protect themselves. Cause they will Google anything they want to know or ask stupid kids who will give them all kinds of ridiculous advice.
Hey Kristen!
Roni Faida recently posted..Carson Mansion In Eureka, California
Agreed… the parents that think their kids won’t do it aren’t doing themselves or their kids any favors. There are many things worse than an unwanted pregnancy but it all boils down to not letting 5 minutes of fun leave you with a lifetime of something else.
I have a 13 year old and we’ve talked about sex since she was six. I’m a former high school teacher. Trust me when I say they will find a way to …. Well let’s just say my kid just turned 13 and will be getting birth control this summer. I don’t approve of her having sex but I’d rather not stick my head in the sand, either. Along with that is a condom drawer in the house (sex doesn’t just produce babies anymore) and an annual hymen check. It’s a lot but after you’ve caught enough kids in the bathroom having sex or outside behind the school, parents declaring that we brought the wrong kid in because their child is an angel descended from Heaven– you tend to think, wow what if this is me in a few years? So. I’ve armed her with information, options and protection. Sigh..it makes me panic but the alternatives make me cringe.
I’ve been very open with my girls as well – as they’ve gotten to the point where they needed me to be. And yes, yes, yes on the “sex doesn’t just produce babies anymore” statement. There are so many things to worry about and babies are just one of them. Parents are doing themselves no favors just ignoring it or even worse, telling their kids to “just say no”. It didn’t work for Nancy Reagan in the 80s and it’s not working today for our kids and sex.
Awesome to connect with you at BBC!!
Kristen Daukas recently posted..Making Your Own Envelopes with Kreate-a-Lope
I’m not ready for you to be ready for it either! Also? Sex in 7th grade?!? Yes! gag me with a spoon. I **think** I remember that there were folks in 7th grade having sex and I was not one of them. I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t even THINKING about that. Thinking about 7th grade sex right now as I type is giving me heartburn. I dread the day when I get to that point with Pea and, like you, my preference is that she gets her info. from me. Here’s hopin’ that she feels confident/comfortable enough to do that.
Middle school is such a weird time of (non) balance.. it’s a thin line between “I’m still a kid” and “I’m totally not a kid”.. I hope mine stay in the first bracket for as long as possible. I also hope that our “open door policy” regarding sex helps.
I am almost there but from a slightly different perspective-I am the mother of a 13 yr old boy…he is currently in the throws of his first crush…I would like to think he’s way too young but I also know I shouldn’t be so naive. Care to share a glass on wine together? 🙂
Holli recently posted..Tea Time
Oh, Holli… I think we not only ned to share a glass of wine, but I think we need to share several bottles and get thru this thing together. I have no friends with boys so I’ve got no one to ask the probing questions! Please, please tell me you’re in NC.. And regardless, we should totally consider blog swapping on this topic! His Mom/Her Mom!
That’s too funny…I am the flip side-lots of friends with boys. (how your children shape your social network-feels like a possible post :)) I agree blog swapping on this topic is in order. I am a Canadian West Coaster so we’ll have to share our wine virtually.
Holli recently posted..The Secret Life of Non-Empty Nesters
That’s a brilliant idea for a post!! Funny how we do tend to draw those friends with the same sex kids.. guess it’s due to all the sports and activities, huh? Do you ever join in on #WineParty tweet chat on Fridays? We could toast, virtually that way!!
My 15 yr old has her 1st boyfriend. Right now neither one can drive so yay but that won’t last forever. My bf’s 16 yr old son had sex with his 14 yr old gf and it bothered Muri so much I hope she waits till she’s older.
i hope she waits till sh’e 25. I doubt she will.
UGHHHHHH. I’m hoping all of mine are totally grossed out by it and avoid like the plague, but like you, I’m doubtful about that.