From Kristen – I met Dara last year at a conference that I oversee and fell in love with her and her story. Dara started her site as a way to chronicle the battle she had with breast cancer and offer support for others going thru a life changing illness like she did. Dara decided to embrace her crazy, perfect, life and is determined to find meaning in every day. You are going to love her stories and if you’ve got daughters (or sons, really) I’m betting you’ll see yourself in her post here today. Follow Dara at, on Facebook and on Twitter!

Dara has a free ebook coming out in the next couple of weeks: How to Make the Most of Your Crazy Perfect Life. It’s free to anyone who subscribes to her blog at www.crazyperfectlife. You won’t want to miss this, so make sure you subscribe!


I have two teenage daughters. They’re wonderful, amazing, and incredible girls. Most of the time. When they’re good, they’re very good. But, when they’re bad, I want to hide under the covers and never come out. Recently, we had one of those “bad” moments, and I gave my daughter the middle finger.

It all started when we were having a conversation. Things were going great, until they weren’t. This is how it happens with teenage girls. One minute everything is fine and then it isn’t.

I was talking with my thirteen-year-old daughter, Avi. She didn’t like what I was saying and the conversation went from smiles and happiness to anger and grumpiness. I was trying to ignore her. I didn’t want to buy into what she was saying. I didn’t want to react.

I have to admit, I was impressed with my parenting skills. It was hard, and she was testing me, but I wasn’t taking the bait. I was a pillar of strength. A model parent.

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She turned around in the middle of our conversation, and that’s when it happened. I couldn’t help myself. In a moment of weakness, when she wasn’t looking, my middle finger shot up before I knew what I had done.

I gave my daughter the middle finger.

It felt so good.Then there was the time when I acted like a brat and gave my daughter the middle finger. And it felt so good.

The only problem was, she turned around faster than I anticipated, and caught me in the act.

“Really, Mom,” she said, “You’re giving me the middle finger. What are you teaching me?”

“Oops,” I said. I felt like I’d been caught by a teacher or parent and for a moment, wasn’t sure how to respond. I didn’t want to get grounded or get a detention. Then I snapped back. I remembered I was still in charge of this operation.

“So in the future, if I don’t like what you’re saying, I can just give you the middle finger?” Avi continued. She was relentless and enjoying this too much.

I didn’t want to admit it, but she had good points.

“Obviously not,” I responded, “I’m the Mom. I’m a grownup, and you have to follow my rules. If you didn’t drive me crazy and push my buttons, I wouldn’t be forced to do this.”

We both started laughing, made up, and moved on. I thought it was behind us. Forever.

That was until this past weekend, when my parents were visiting. We were having a fabulous weekend, and then at breakfast one morning, Avi turned to everyone and said these words, “Your daughter gave me the middle finger during an argument.”


My Dad didn’t really know what to say, so he didn’t. He just sat there, clearing his throat, while Avi smiled a big happy grin. She was enjoying this a little too much.

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I explained that I wasn’t a Saint, that she drove me to do it, but I could hear the defensiveness in my voice.

I can’t believe she tattled on me, to my parents. Never saw that coming.

Find meaning each day,




About Dara:

Dara Kurtz CrazyPerfectLifeOver two years ago my life was going perfectly well, and then one day it wasn’t. You see, there was this lump on my right breast that I happened to mention when I went to the doctor to get an antibiotic. I thought she would dismiss it and tell me not to worry about it, but instead, several days later I found myself getting a biopsy.

And you can guess the rest.

It sounds cliche, but it really does happen that way. One day you think you’re totally fine, and the next, you’re sitting on a couch, hearing you have the big C, and wondering if you’re going to see your children get married. It ended up being breast cancer. Luckily, I found it early, aggressively treated it with the many tools available, and consider myself cured.

But going through something like this changes you. And changes you forever. What you thought was important, suddenly doesn’t seem so important anymore. I found myself questioning what I was doing with my life and my time. And that’s when I quit my job at a large bank as a Financial Advisor, and made the decision to start CRAZY PERFECT LIFE. Subscribe to the blog at www.crazyperfectlife for inspirational and sometimes funny stories that will bring a smile to your face and help you find meaning in your own life.



This post originally appeared on Dara’s site.